Thoughts on Gun Reform and School Shootings

It’s been a week since the Marjory Stoneman Douglas school shooting in Parkland, FL and the fire in my belly hasn’t stopped. I’ve been sitting with it since it happened, reading news reports, following the conversations our lawmakers are having, learning about the victims and heroes present that day. I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed over my children, your children, our school systems, our broken government system. Yet, the fire in my belly has only grown.

First, let me say that we are responsible gun owners. I didn’t grow up in a household with guns, but my husband did. I spent years feeling uncomfortable with the fact that we had guns in our home until I realized that if I was okay with us owning a weapon to defend our home and children, that I needed to learn how to properly use it. Turns out, after going to the gun range with my husband and being trained properly, I really enjoy target shooting. I would have NEVER foreseen that years ago. I comfortably shoot guns in a safe environment with my husband now.

Now, I married a NRA supporter. He had belonged to the NRA for many years when I met him. I never asked many questions about how we supported them financially, I just knew it was important to him. As we evolved on this issue of gun reform, mostly after the Sandy Hook shooting in 2012, we began exploring and learning more about the NRA and its channels.

In 2012, when 26 children and adults were gunned down inside their elementary school, Sandy Hook Elementary, I was a mom to 2 1^st graders and 6 months pregnant with my 3^rd child. Flabbergasted and more scared than ever before, we took a long hard look at the NRA’s behavior following months after that shooting. Of course, this will be the change that’s needed to keep kids safe at school. Gun reform is something we can all agree on now, right? I thought. Six-year olds sitting in a classroom, learning to write and read, were gunned down like animals. Who can argue with the idea that change is needed to gun laws and how people get their hands on weapons of that caliber used in the shooting?

We began getting letters and mailings from the NRA weekly. Sometimes, multiple in a week’s time. Each one was the same. “We’re under attack! Join the fight!” in big, bold letters followed by a lengthy letter telling readers that their 2^nd amendment rights were going to be ripped from member’s lives and the liberals/Obama/the left (yes, they use those words) were going to come take away their guns. As we would receive the mailings asking for money and contributions to ensure this wouldn’t happen, hubby and I would sit and discuss the outrageous and inflammatory tone of their mailings. “In what world is the government going to come take away guns from law abiding citizens? How could they even manage that?”, we’d ask ourselves. When cooler heads would prevail, we just couldn’t wrap our heads around that messaging and the statements that were coming out of the NRA, lobbyists and government leaders. “Don’t take our guns! We need more guns!” they cried. Nope, we’re no longer aligned and you will not receive any more of our hard earned money, we decided.

For my children, the next year was one of fear.

Endless active shooter/intruder drills at school.

Many nights of tears and questions.  “What if I forget what to do? But you won’t be there to protect me! Will It hurt a lot if I get shot? What if I die, will my baby brother remember me?”

LISTEN. No one should have to have that kind of conversation with their children. My kids should feel safe in three places, no matter what. Home. School. Church. Don’t agree with me, ok. I stand by that.

In the years since, I followed legislation on gun reform. Not obsessively, but closely enough that I knew which of my representatives were receiving donations from the NRA, what bills were coming up in the House and such. I aligned with groups like Sandy Hook Promise, whose platform is building partnerships between parents, schools and communities to create trainings that prevent gun violence. I learned about and joined Everytown, an organization who starts small in the communities we live in to create change at the national level. We have conversations with our kids about gun safety, about what to do if they are at a friend’s house and they have a gun out, about the fact that they are not old enough nor responsible enough to handle a gun, about reporting anything suspicious at school that makes them feel uncomfortable or leaves them wondering about the safety of others. This is a real topic we discuss and live out in our giving, voting, and parenting.

Fast forward to this past week and the shooting in Parkland. My first thought when I heard, “Dear God, how many this time?” As in, how many did the shooter get before they were neutralized. I sit with that tonight and think to myself, “What the hell is wrong with the world when that’s the first thought I have after hearing that news?” It’s become normalized, accepted as a “when will this happen again?” not a “IF this happens again”. SICK. That’s the only word that lingers when I realize my question is a notice of just how normalized this has become here in the US.

And then 71 GOP members stood in the FL House of Representatives and looked into the eyes of the shooting survivors and family members of those lost last week and deny that change is needed. Yes, they did. 5 days after 17 people were gunned down in a school, those members decided they don’t even want to have a conversation about it. Not vote on a reform bill. Refuse to even discuss the need for reform.

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL IS HAPPENING IN THIS COUNTRY?

People are getting on social media, people I know and love, posting videos about “The number of school shootings being reported is incorrect!”, memes making jokes about how much ammo one needs next time they go to the store, arguing about how the 2^nd amendment is their right.

MY KIDS/YOUR KIDS RIGHT TO LIVE AND FEEL SAFE AT SCHOOL SUPERCEDES YOUR RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS. It just does. Any argument otherwise is a moral failure on your part. Period.

I’m going to address some of the things that have been posted about gun reform and the shooting in Parkland this past week. This is my take as a mom, Christian, former educator, and voting US citizen. Please know that discussion is welcome, but any personal attacks, alt right videos and gaslighting will not be tolerated or addressed. Difference of political and social opinion are opportunities for growth and learning, but not under the guise of being “right” and hurting others in the process.

With that said, here’s some thoughts.

“Guns are not the problem. Mental illness is.” (I’ve seen this particular train of thought quite a bit)

You won’t hear me say we don’t need mental health reform. We absolutely do. However, a mentally ill person doesn’t kill someone with their mental illness alone. They need a weapon. Sometimes that can be with their bare hands, other times with semi automatic weapons that they too easily have access to.  Second, how many people is someone with another type of weapon going to kill before they are overtaken or stopped? With their bare hands? One, maybe two. With a knife? Maybe half a dozen. With a high capacity rifle? Potentially hundreds. Why would we not put protections in place that lessen that risk? Previous legislature was overturned on February 28, 2017, when Congress passed and Donald Trump signed a law revoking an Obama-era regulatory initiative that made it harder for people with mental illness to buy a gun. So, if this theory stands, why is the NRA championing legislature that rolls back progress in this area? Doesn’t hold air for me.

“We need God back in our schools. This kind of thing happens when we take God out of schools.”

This one is two fold for me. First, why is anyone under the impression that God is not in our schools? Because they don’t pray formally as a body? That kind of faith is too narrow for me. Even though they may not kneel or bow their heads as a group, I know God is in my kids’ school. He’s everywhere. He’s the God that can’t be kept out by a set of doors, security protocol or even, a court order. If you believe that God isn’t present in our schools because we don’t pray as a school body, you need to deepen your faith in the One who transcends all things. Psalm 46:11 and Ephesians 4:6 tell us that God is in us and draws close to us always.

Second, what about your Christianity aligns you with a group that supports high power weapons in the hands of anyone who wants one? I can’t wrap my head around Jesus walking through a village, praying for others, with an AR15 strapped to his back. Everything about his ministry was nonviolence. About love. When the Pharisees brought the adulterous woman before Jesus, he didn’t jump in and grab the first weapon (rock) he could find. Ok, this is an example of violence toward someone who didn’t come to harm Jesus, you say? Ok, what about when Jesus was taken from the Garden of Gethsemane? He’s God’s son, capable of creating a weapon out of the very air he breathed and he allowed men to take him to his death, which he knew was coming. He trusted God’s plan.

You may say, “but we don’t follow his commandment to love God and love others as we love ourselves. That’s why people are killing people.” I don’t disagree with that, in theory, but I also know adding more weapons to the mix has absolutely nothing to do with love, either. How are we leading people to God and following that commandment when we value our guns more than the lives of others? You don’t lead people to God by instilling fear of mass shootings by telling them they need to take up a weapon to defend themselves. That’s a personal choice but it certainly isn’t one rooted in faith or Jesus.

“But the constitution says I have a right to bear arms. It’s my RIGHT.”

Of course it is. I’m not denying that. I own guns. But let me pose this question…Why does anyone need a high capacity weapon like the AR15? It’s not a personal defense weapon. You’re not going out to hunt the rabbits in your garden with it. It’s a military grade weapon designed to kill as many people as possible in the smallest amount of time. You know that, I know that. I’ve heard it argued that it’s a slippery slope when we begin quantifying which guns people can own. What? You think the government is going to drive around and demand that all of your unapproved weapons be turned over to them? Give me a break. If clear heads prevail, you know that’s not going to happen. No one who is calling for gun reform is even saying “Take all the guns!” like the NRA would have some to believe. People who are calling for gun reform are asking for common sense things like more thorough background checks, longer waiting periods, banning bump stocks etc. and to act like someone who would ask that their children be protected from weapons like an AR15 are outrageously attacking your freedom is just that…Outrageous. We want our kids to live. It’s that freaking simple.

Second, when the constitution was written, it would take up to 3 minutes to repack the weapon to be fired. You honestly think that when that was written they could even FATHOM what technology would mean for personal defense? The constitution is a pliable document designed to be altered to meet the demands of the time before us. We’ve changed it many times before without the whole world delving into the bowels of hell. Women now vote. Slavery is illegal. Presidents may only serve two terms. Heck, we’ve added 17 amendments since 1791.  It isn’t too much of a stretch to think that we could have common sense gun laws that protect citizens and small children in schools.

How is this any different than drunk drivers and abortions? It’s not the car that kills another person/We don’t value kids before they’re born

First of all, let’s stop comparing apples to elephants. These things are not comparable and I shouldn’t have to explain that.

But let’s take each one of these apart separately. Drunk drivers & cars?

Well, the thing is a car is designed to transport a person or goods from one place to another. That’s its purpose. Pretty straightforward. A high capacity weapon is designed to kill other people. NOT the same thing. Not even same ballpark.

And we have lots of regulations in place for cars and drunk drivers. We’ve learned from our mistakes. We strengthened our laws/penalties against drunk drivers. We now require people to wear seatbelts. We require kids to be in car seats. We regulate how cars are inspected, built and the capacity at what speed they can be driven. We don’t have IndyCars out driving 120 mph on the freeway next to your grandma’s Subaru. People died. We learned our lesson that more needed to be done. Guns? Don’t touch ‘em, they cry.

Ok, abortion. Aside from your personal views about prolife/prochoice, you can’t argue that we also have regulations for women’s healthcare and abortions, specifically. Maybe not enough for your personal comfort, but we do. However, a woman’s actual body isn’t comparable to the next greatest weapon on your wish list from the next private gun sale at the fairgrounds.

Furthermore, you cannot sit there and tell me that a pouch of cells smaller than a pencil eraser to the naked eye is the same thing as a living, breathing, talking, walking, learning six year old dressed in her favorite Minnie Mouse dress at her desk, learning how to subtract. Because science. How do you know they’re different? Have someone hold a gun to the head of your 1^st grader while they also hold a petri dish over a garbage disposal. Who dies? You gotta pick.

Not. The. Same. Thing.

Stop comparing things that aren’t even nearly the same damn thing for the sake of an argument.

“There haven’t been 18 school shootings this year. That statistic is skewed and makes people paranoid this is a bigger problem than it really is.”

This one annoys. There have been 18 gun related incidents near schools reported by Everytown. Who cares if it’s 18 or 1? It’s too damn many. People aren’t paranoid and pro gun reform because of a statistic on a website. They’re paranoid and scared because they see parents grieving on the national news, they hear NRA reps blaming victims and school districts, they have kids with nightmares every night, they have friends in those schools who are broken. Up to 10 children are killed by gun violence every single day. It may not be at school, but it may be walking to the grocery store, playing with friends in the neighborhood or in the car driving to an appointment. That’s STUPID. How are we ok with this? You can say you’re not, but if you’re not actively advocating for change, you must be. Complaining on your couch isn’t helping anyone.

So, after all that, where does that leave us? It leaves us in the same place we were an hour ago before you read this. Now, what are you going to do to push forward gun reform and protect our kids?

Here are some ideas:

First, register to vote. No excuses. Your vote matters. Register. Go to the polls. Vote.

Second, educate yourself. Find trustworthy news sources that can help you sort through legislation, keep you updated on bills, dig in and find out who your reps are and what they believe. It’s your responsibility as a citizen of the US. Democracy only works when we all participate. You can’t show up to the party and complain about the hors d’oeuvres. You didn’t help put the party together.

Third, show up. Find organizations like Everytown and your local chapter of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. They’ll help you find resources, help you find like minded people and give you avenues to creating change locally and nationally.

The fact that I felt I needed to write this blog is heartbreaking for me. It’s not complicated. Kids are dying in their classrooms while we argue semantics, party lines and media sources. I don’t want to take anyone’s right to bear arms, I want a living, breathing child to mean more than your right to bear arms. I want my kids to go to school and concentrate on algebra instead of worrying if they’re safe. I want my legislators to be honest about being beholden to the NRA for hundreds of thousands of dollars. I want people to vote and get involved instead of assuming someone else will take care of it. I want the ignorance on my FB feed about gun safety to disappear. I want to sleep at night knowing I’m not sending my kids into a battlefield in 4^th period. Until that all means more than an inanimate piece of steel sitting in someone’s closet, capable of taking lives in seconds, we’re doomed. Don’t you dare tell me my kids’ right to go to school and come home safely, to live another day, is not more important than your right to bear arms. If you’re dying on that hill, go ahead and block me. Our paths shall never merge again.