Valentine’s Veto

In a world where we receive so many messages of how we are not enough or too much, I find Valentine’s Day to be one of the most important days of the year. Not the way you probably think, though. Stay with me.

I personally find Valentine’s Day to be super commercialized and silly. Millions are made by companies who prey on the guilt of husbands and wives who are out shopping last minute at 11pm at Walmart. Believe me, I saw it myself tonight. Candy that you could have bought a month ago in different packaging is now “Valentine’s Day” ready and double the price. It’s all so…overdone and unoriginal. The flowers will die. The cards will be thrown out. And frankly, a thoughtful gift on a random Tuesday afternoon would mean so much more to me than a gift given because we bought into the hype.

So, fifteen years ago, when my husband and I started dating, I let him off the hook. No thanks. He thought I was kidding and bought me a gift anyway but I helped him see my side of things. (Make sure you’re on the same page as your significant other when it comes to no gift giving, though. Don’t borrow trouble!) So, when we had children, we made a conscious decision to make Valentine’s Day about our kids. Not about toys and candy, especially after we all barely made it out alive from Christmas. (By far, the most stressful time of year but Happy birthday, Jesus!) We wanted to make it about affirming our kids and the things we love about them, who they are growing to be.

As a woman, I get a lot of messages from the world. I’m told

I am not organized enough.

I am too bold.

I am not thin enough.

I am too opinionated.

I am not stylish enough.

I am too outspoken.

I am not rich enough.

Our kids are getting messages from the world too. They are told

They are not smart enough.

They are too sensitive.

They are not athletic.

They are too hesitant.

They aren’t popular enough.

And to all that, I say what they hear from us is more important than what they hear from the world. Our influence shrinks as their world expands, no doubt, so pouring into them regularly with positive affirmations of who they are, they gifts they have and the plans that God has for them along the way builds a more solid foundation when the world gets loud and tells them something different.

So, over the years, we’ve created some awesome Valentine’s Day traditions with our kids that affirm in them all the things we love about who they were created to be.

First, we decorate their doors with affirmation hearts. Joe and I both write things on paper hearts that we love seeing in them. Sometimes it’s a skill they’ve worked hard to achieve, sometimes it’s a virtue they are living out, sometimes it’s something we see growing in them that we want to encourage. All of them are designed to help them see that they are perfectly and wonderfully created in God’s image. They love to wake up in the morning and see what things we have written about them. Our youngest’s hearts from last year just came down tonight to be replaced with this year’s. He never wants to take them down!

Second, we create some sort of gift that allows them to see those things in themselves throughout the year. Past year’s gifts have included a personalized storybook where they star as the superhero of their own life and dinner plates expressing how special they are. We’d bring them out to read together and they’d be a topic of conversation at dinnertime throughout the years.

This year, we have 2 preteens who are going on 30. The mom in me was committed to the mission we claimed as parents, but I also wanted something cool and fun they would enjoy and not toss into a corner of their room or declare as “too babyish”. I think I found the perfect gift! I found these at Target for $12.99! Hubby and I wrote some positive affirmations on their boards for them to find in the morning and we’ll encourage them to create their own as the days and weeks pass. When they are nervous about an upcoming test, they can put some powerful, positive words in front of them. When they are praying about something specific, they can put scripture in front of them. I’m excited to see what messages we may find as the year progresses. I imagine it will give us some insight into their world- their worries, their goals, their successes. As they post different affirmations for themselves, I’ll try to share here so you can get some inspiration too!

Valentine’s Day isn’t about romantic love with teddy bears and flowers for us. We’ve made it about a celebration of who we are created to be in God’s image. It’s a celebration of who God says we are, not who the world says we are or aren’t. My sincere hope is that as they navigate the world as adults, these celebrations will guide them to accepting, affirming, life giving relationships that celebrate who they are and what they have to offer the world. What better gift could there be?!?