Thirteen year old Steve attended a local church most weekends with his parents. As a bright and curious sixth grader, Steve was fine going to church with his family but hadn’t committed his life to Christ. He had too many unanswered questions about God.
One Sunday after church, Steve asked his senior pastor one of those questions. “Pastor, if I raise my finger, will God know which finger I’m going to raise even before I raise it?” The pastor replied, “Yes, God knows everything.”
Steve, who was especially troubled by children who were starving in Africa, then pulled out a Life magazine cover depicting hungry African children & asked the logical follow-up. “Well, does God know about this and what’s going to happen to those children?”
A tougher question, to be sure, but the pastor gave a similar response. “Steve, I know you don’t understand, but yes, God knows about that.” Steve walked out of church that day and never returned to the Christian church. There was nothing technically wrong with the pastor’s answer, but if God knew what was happening in Africa and didn’t stop it, Steve wanted nothing to do with God.*
You’ve likely heard of this Steve. His last name is Jobs. You know, the cofounder, CEO & chair of Apple.
Imagine if Steve had been greeted by a different answer from his pastor. One that was less of a conversational dead end and more of an on-ramp for a deeper discussion about faith. Imagine if an adult, his parents or a mentor or a teacher, had hit the conversational ball over the net to Steve, instead of letting it slowly roll off the court. Imagine what our world might look like if Steve had funneled his leadership resources into Silicon Valley AND the kingdom.
Conversation matters. Conversation with our kids about faith matter. In a recent study, parents & teenagers in highly religious Christian, Muslin & Jewish homes, 75% of each group listed faith conversations, more than any other method (including devotions, prayer time) to be most vital to molding faith. In particular, youth centered conversations, meaning those that focus on teenagers’ issues & concerns, were identified as the best catalysts for deepening faith.
So, how do we begin these kinds of conversations?
For years, at our house, we’ve played a game at mealtime that helped us get beyond “How was your day? Fine.” We call it the “Highs & Lows” or “Peaks & Valleys”, but I recently read a new take on it that incorporates our faith, so I wanted to share it with you all.
This version is called “Wow, Pow, Holy Cow, How”. You can find it inside “The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family“, by Kara Powell. Here’s how you play:
Wow is the best part of their day.
Pow is the worst part of their day.
Holy Cow is something in the day that pointed them to God.
How is an opportunity in their day to be the answer to someone else’s prayer.
Since switching to this format, we are having more spontaneous, organic conversations about faith in our home. Everyone gets to opt out of a category if they want, but they need to answer 3 out of 4. No one has needed to opt out just yet, but the option is there. It’s been really humbling to hear about how our kids are experiencing God in their lives & hearing stories of the intentionality they seek in answering How for their peers & the community. As parents, we’ve always been the primary way that our kids see God & as yet, as they grow, they are seeing Him in new & fresh ways, outside of us, that we are blown away by.
An example? A couple of weeks ago, as school was starting & our twins were transitioning to a new school, we talked about some of the anxiety they (and many of their peers) were feeling. A new building, LOTS of new kids, lockers with combinations…Oh My. He came home a few days into the year & was excited to share his “Holy Cow” & “How” with us a few days later. Another girl in the hallway was having a tough time with her locker in the morning & he offered help. She began to cry & told him “I hate this school, I don’t want to be here” and he saw his opportunity. He was proud to tell us that he prayed with her and the coolest part, according to him? “I normally don’t go to my locker at that time, Mom, but today, I forgot my book so I had to hurry to grab it. I lost some of my responsibility points but I was in the right place at the right time. Only God does that!”
So, give it a try this week! Try out “Wow, Pow, Holy Cow, How” and let me know what kinds of things you’re learning about your kids & their worlds each day.
*Walter Isaacson, Steve Jobs (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2011), 14-15.
Heather Hilbert 