A Family Experiment for 2020

I see so many of my friends posting about their resolutions for the year and I’m all like…

I don’t do resolutions. I don’t subscribe to the idea that setting a goal on Jan 1^st has a great deal of  motivation for the rest of the year. As soon as we get off track, because we ALL do, we can convince ourselves we’ve failed. Instead, I choose a word to focus on throughout the year. I choose something that sparks my heart. Maybe it challenges me. Maybe it’s something I’m chasing. For the remainder of the year, I focus on that word and lean into the places where I see it, risk it, share it…the list goes on and on. I filter my choices through that word. I wear the word sometimes as a visible reminder of where I’m headed. It’s my north star for 12 months.

I chose a word for 2020 and I’ll share that in another post at a later time. I want to share an experiment we’re embarking on as a family. This year, we chose a word as a family. One thing we would chase & challenge ourselves with. We’d do it together for the entire year.

We chose gratitude.

Why? Sure, we know we’re blessed. My kids are not spoiled or entitled. We talk to and teach our kids all the ways we are blessed beyond measure, especially in comparison to others in other parts of the world just as much as down the road. Because they need to know that they don’t need to travel to another country to see someone in great need. Someone in need may be on their school bus. Or in line at the grocery checkout. Or at church in the pew next to us.

We chose gratitude because we want to take intentional time to see how acknowledging the blessings in our life, both big & small, translate into how we encounter the world. If we look through the lens of gratitude each day, will it change how we approach our relationships? Our thought processes? Will it change our hearts?

And so.

We each have a gratitude journal that we’re writing in each day. I did some research and chose journals that were both developmentally appropriate & personality affirming. Because if I learned anything as a mom, it’s that what works for one doesn’t work for another. I purchased them from Amazon and you can find them here and here.

Each day, each of us are intentionally looking for something we can be grateful for. Maybe it’s a small thing. Maybe it’s a really big one. There’s no rules around how we define what we celebrate. We’re on the lookout for abundance. Every day. Then, at the end of the day, we come together and write in our journals. Takes less than 5 minutes. And we share. We share what we wrote and celebrate together.

YOU GUYS. It’s been a few days and we’re already seeing changes.

The 6 year old who cherishes his stuffed animals and has a special spot for each one on his bed? He chose FOUR to share with each of us. He was thrilled to share his most treasured “babies” with all of us. The special one that he has slept with EVERY SINGLE DAY for 3 years? Gave it to his sister with a smile and said, “He always makes me sleep good and have good dreams. You can have him tonight.”

The teenager who is pushing boundaries and gaining independence who gets annoyed with his little brother interfering with, well, his life? He’s writing about how he can be more patient with him & writing that his favorite part of the day was spending time playing video games with his little brother.

I find myself having more patience & more focused on what’s going right rather than what’s not. I’m noticing small things that I may not have paid attention to if I weren’t searching for it. My list of 5 things each day have been small (a fun text thread with friends that makes me laugh) and large (my hubby’s unwavering belief in me, for example). And my kids get to hear about it. They get to see us in a new, intimate way than they do if we’re not creating space for those conversations.

The bonus? Each day that we’ve practiced this, I learn something new about my kids. Maybe it’s someone’s kindness to them. It might be something that was meaningful that I didn’t realize had significance for them. But it’s a small glimpse into their hearts. If you have teenagers, or even adult kids, you know what a precious gift that is for parents. As our influence dwindles and we’re no longer the first place they go with, well, anything, it’s such a special time to share just that extra 5 minutes of intentional time with them and hear about their day.

I mean. For the love. It’s my favorite new rhythm in the new year.

So, I challenge you to try it. For the next month, try practicing intentional gratitude journaling as a family. All you need is paper and a pen. Carve out 5 minutes a day to write down what you’re grateful for that day and share with one another. Maybe it becomes part of your morning routine to set the tone for the day. Maybe it’s before bed because everyone is going different directions in the morning. Whenever you choose, it will change things. Approaching the day from a posture of gratitude always will.

Psalm 106:1 “Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.”